iHeaven

After buying all the clouds and calling it the iCloud, Apple is moving up and has purchased Heaven.

It will be called iHeaven, obviously.

When you die, there will be a monthly charge to store yourself in iHeaven. You receive a certain amount of iHeaven storage free. Probably enough to store the appendages of your average male or female. Anything above that (the torso, head, genitalia) will be subject to a hefty fee. If you are overweight or thick-boned, it will cost even more, so be sure to lose weight just before you go.

There are plans available for people who die with no money. This will be negotiated in iLimbo, on your journey to iHeaven.

Good luck.