Tuesday 31 July 2018

Thoughty Thoughts

Shouldn't we only call it an elevator when it's going up? It's elevating you. When it's going down, it's a lowervator.

Same with escalator. When you're going down, you are on a deescalator. You are deescalating. If you're in a fight and going up an escalator, can we say the fight is escalating? By the time you reach the top it turns into a shooting match. Better get on the deescalator fast.

It's two thousand degrees out, my fillings are sweating, and I'm wondering where the term air conditioning originated.

It makes no sense.

Are we really conditioning the air? Is that like hair conditioner? Oooh, this air is so smooth. So much body.

If conditioning the air means making it comfortable for our needs, then wouldn't heating it also be air conditioning? When it's winter?

No. We use a heater to heat. We don't use a colder to cool down.

We don't call it an air heater. An oven isn't a food heater.

But when we want a hot shower, suddenly we have a water heater.

Freezer is an honest name. It freezes things. When we want to thaw things, we use a…microwave oven. Not a thawer.

So we can't call an air conditioner an air cooler. But when we buy a 6-pack of beer, we don't put it in an air conditioner. We put it in a cooler. A beer cooler. Not a beer conditioner.

I'm so meticulous, it's ridiculous.