Friday, 16 December 2016

Lawerly Advice




What is a snow advisory? The news today issued a snow advisory.

Are they advising me that it will snow, or that it did snow? Aren't they really just telling me that? It's a snow telling.

It's really just a forecast. The forecast for today is snow. That's it. I don't need your advice. Just tell me your best guess and shut up.

"Hey, you want my advice? It's gonna snow today."

The weatherman is now your lawyer.

ME: I can't move my car. It's totally stuck. I gotta get to work. I'll be fired. What do I do?

Weatherman: Well, if I were your weatherman (for a retainer), I would advise you that it snowed, and you should shovel it away.

ME: Oh God, how much will that cost?

Weatherman: Along with my bill? Your keister's in a sling.