Here's something for my 2017 resolution's list.
Surgeons are planning to attempt the first head transplant. They will decapitate the healthy head of one body and attach it to another (headless) body that is otherwise healthy, except that its head is missing.
I could really use a head transplant next year. Talk about a fresh start.
New ideas. New thoughts. New face. Saves $$$ on a hair transplant. New stubble. No flabby chin.
It's the ultimate makeover.
It's the ultimate career move, too – how to get a head in life.
I guess I would want to interview the head before I accepted it. Give it some of those Luminosity brain tests. Obviously, the head has to be smarter than my current head, or what's the point.
Coffee and a nice conversation would also be required. The head has to love coffee, because my current head is addicted to it. God forbid I get into an argument with the head. Since we will be spending a lot of time together, we have to agree on several key issues.
Would you have voted for Trump if it meant you would get ahead in life?
The answer better be no. It should have scruples. And nice cheek bones.
I would want the head to have a definite intellectual bent, so I would expect it to be reading something like Scientific American while it was waiting to be attached. If it goes anywhere near O magazine, I'll drown the thing.
Also, strong knees. I want stronger knees. Heads don't have knees, so I guess that's not relevant.
It should be wearing a helmet, though. Safety first, always.
And no humming while it's waiting. I can't stand heads that hum.
Anyway, I'm getting a head of myself. I haven't even talked to the headhunter yet.
