Starbucks used to be for coffee. Now it's a place for people who crave a banana split and some caffeine.
It's really a DQ for tired people.
Some girl in there ordered half sugar? What are you, a half-wit? The sugar's already in everything. Even sugar coated coffee beans. Can I get double insulin?
Maybe it's even a restaurant. Incredibly, they offer a creme brûlée latte. That's flat-out dessert. I'll start with the caesar salad smoothie, the t-bone espresso, medium rare and the creme brûlée latte. Not a bad meal for $100.
And all the stupid names. Grande. Skinny latte. Is this a good time to be mentioning people's weight?
I'll have the skinny egg white sandwich and a fat beer.
Yesterday I asked the girl for a skinny ariana grande. Not just skinny. Starving. Undernourished. I have to lie down grande. Unconscious.
They don't offer that, she said.
