Regular readers to this world famous blog, which numbers in the single digits (not married digits) know that I love to sleep. And nap. And nap while I sleep, dream that I'm sleeping while I'm sleeping & napping and, finally, I really enjoy pre- and post-sleeping.
Soon I will have my pre- and post-doctorate in Advanced Yawning. My thesis is on learning to elicit genuine yawns while having one's entire hypodermis tattooed with a Dremel.
What you don't know is that when I got married, I made my wife sign a preNAPtial agreement. I believe I'm the first male to achieve this.
This agreement states that I am allowed to nap in every 4 hour period, no matter where we are or what is happening at the moment. A separate clause states that I am not allowed to nap if doing so leads to the formation of a black hole and the end of the universe.
Not only that. An independent napping clause, which adds nap time based on a complicated math formula written by Stephen Hawking, kicks in if my wife makes me work extra hard, like getting my own beer, walking up the stairs or purchasing beef jerky.
So, what am I doing awake?
Good question.
