Jesus: Listen, God, I've been thinking and I feel we should call it TJIF.
God: Huh?
Jesus: Thank Jesus it's Friday. It's catchier than Good Friday. We want people following us, right?
God: Acronyms are tacky. Look what they've done with LOL. Totally overused. Drives me nuts. Sometimes I feel like crashing the whole Goddamn internet on them.
Jesus: Ya but it fits really nicely on the sign I'm making.
God: Sign? You mean a sign of God?
Jesus: Sort of. I'm starting a bar. TJIFs.
God: You'll be too busy with the Resurrection.
Jesus: There's a ton of time between that and my second coming, right? I'm sittin' around here waiting for you to send me back. "Where the hell is he?", people are asking.
God: What's with your name being on the sign? I'm in charge and you still give me grief on that. I mean, between you and Lucifer…Pisses me right off. This is exactly why I invented lightning.
Jesus: Jesus. I'm the one that died.
God: Are you dead now? Well?
Jesus: I'm unemployed…Fine. TGIFs.
God: I like that. Will you serve your blood?
Jesus: Not so much. More beer and wine. There'll be spirits too! Chicken wings, of course.
God: Who's bartending?
Jesus: Bartholomew. Get it? Bar?
God: Watch him. He takes from the donation basket. Oh, and I want 50%.
Jesus: Are you kidding me?
God: Say hello to my little friend, your new crucifix.
Jesus: 50% sounds great.
