Glory be to Dr. Oetker.
God knows I love my pizza. So imagine my reaction when God sent me this message in a pizza.
He must be reading my blog after all.
This holy piece of parchment above came with my Dr. Oetker pizza. I followed the instructions carefully: Place pizza and parchment tray in oven at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Genuflect. Pray.
And look what appeared. The face of Jesus in a pizza. Well, on the under-wrapping anyway.
It's a lucky bonus that this showed up in a "healthy" Dr. Oetker pizza, with only 15,000 calories (even after I added the maple bacon) instead of the normal 35,000
Oh, I get it. You think it's a fake? You want to carbon date it?
I really thought after all these years we had built up more trust.
I realize this image can be interpreted in many ways. Some of them occurred to me as well:
• Maybe the Fathers at the Vatican were a little distracted while the hosts baked too long in the oven. Boys will do that to you.
• Maybe the Vatican ovens broke down so they were forced to order hosts from the Waffle House down the street.
• Looks a bit like my underwear after I finish ironing it.
• Reminds me of a Timbit run over by a bus.
• Perhaps it's Al Jolson's cleansing pad (wow, you're aging yourself there, Paul)
• More currently, I might guess it's the resulting hickey from a date with Jian Ghomeshi
Nope, this is the one AND ONLY shroud of pizza, which means the J man (not Jian) was there in the oven while it was cooking.
If you zoom in about one million percent, His lips seem to be whispering my name. I don't know, maybe He's just saying, "more maple bacon."
I know for sure He's saying "Thank God there isn't any broccoli on this pizza," because that's the devil's work.
I've always known at the core of my spiritual self that Jesus is a meat lover.
Maybe it works like this: God is love. But Jesus, who has actually taken the time to come down here and try our food, loves meat the best.
Where's the proof? Notice how a bit of the edge is crumbled away? I think Jesus got a bit hungry and nibbled at what He thought was the pizza. I'm sure after eating hosts and all He's use to that flavour.
What do you see?
