What I've noticed recently is the remarkable similarity between certain features of the universe and our good old home on earth. It's uncanny, really.
Consider the description of a common black hole. This is a collapsed star that is so dense with crushed matter that its gravitational pull is billions of times stronger than here on earth. It sucks things into it – even light – never to be seen again. And it grows bigger as it absorbs more and more matter.
This, to me, sounds an awful lot like a trip to a Florida buffet. I would say a good 40% of the Florida population are black holes disguised as people when they visit a buffet. Maybe other states, too?
Similar to a black hole is a neutron star. In fact, the neutron star is a star that failed the audition to become a full fledged black hole. If you were to measure out one teaspoon of “neutron star”, that teaspoon would have a mass of roughly one billion tons – around two times the weight of all the cars in the United States!
This is not the only example of this phenomenon. I had a breakfast at Denny's that fit this description. To experience this phenomenon, please also visit the International House of Pancakes (iHop), and the much larger Interstellar/Intergallactic House of Pancakes.
Some scientists think sun spots actually influence human behaviour. For example, an active sun spot period is associated with the rise of Beatlemania. This explains why the original title of one of their most famous songs was "Here Comes the Sun Spot".
They have found stellar clouds with ethol alcohol. This is identical to the alcohol found in beer. We could certainly use an Interstellar beer store here in good old Ontariariario. I'd prefer beer at the corner store but at least it's competition for the intelligently named "Beer Store". Doesn't get much smarter than naming beer stores here in Ontario.
Now we are learning that the universe is hugely influenced by something we can't even see - dark matter. This strange matter that we can't see influences how the universe develops. And it's repulsive, as in it pushes things apart.
Well, this fits the description of at least two of my girlfriends. One girlfriend told me she was physically abused by her father and she appreciated it because it made her a better person. I quickly updated my passport, secretly moved to the Maldives for a time, and told her I would never disclose the location of her spaceship.
Everyone has heard of worm holes. Maybe some have even had some in their body. These are shortcuts in spacetime that connect one area in space with another far away. This is the HOV lane for the universe. You cannot go through them unless there are two or more people travelling at the same time.
Finally, there is the neutrino, which I mentioned above. The neutrino is a form of matter so small that trillions travel through your hand every second and never collide with any other matter. Hmmm, something so, so tiny that no one can see it? I once had a mirror on my bedroom ceiling that said, "objects are larger than they appear". But otherwise, can't think of any similarities here!
