Dog experts tell me that Newman can smell cancer.
Ball sacks, I say.
If Newman can smell cancer, why can't he smell when I have the flu? Why can't he smell that I want to sleep for 48 hours and if he continues sticking his nose in my business I will tear him a new one.
No nose can smell its own crap on a daily basis and then immediately switch to cancer.
Pet articles describe the owner/pet relationship as "an almost indescribable and deep bond…"
Let me describe it for you.
Newman craps on rug. I clean it up.
Newman pukes in shoes. I clean it up.
I make chicken sandwich. Newman steals it.
I vacuum rug. Newman sheds on it.
Newman burns holes in my neck with his eyes. I walk him.
Newman gets whatever he wants. I don't.
Does that describe things a little better for you? I hope so.
