Sheryl Sandberg
I couldn't agree more with Sheryl. I really admire Sheryl, especially the guts it took to change the "C" that usually starts "Cheryl" to an "S". This clearly makes her unique, and in the enviable position of explaining the world to the rest of us…men. Amazing what she can do with a paint brush – painting all of us men into a corner where all the early primates live.
In light of this, I am spelling my name Pawl. I await the accolades.
Sheryl is bang on when she states that MY success is due to MY core skills. I freely admit that the heights I have risen to involved no hard work, a smidgen of luck, and offers of help, which I promptly turned down. Why do I need help when I have my core skills?
Even some of the men I talk to at our private meetings, celebrating our core skills together, offer me help, and I turn it down. In fact, we all turn down help together.
Probably the best part of the meetings is chewing tobacco together, spitting it on pictures of Gloria Steinem, and making the wife clean it up. Hey, she can get help from other people, you know.
We end each meeting with the slogan, "Use your core skill, Bill." Not sure who Bill is.
I am especially glad to be underemployed these days, because I get to flex some of my greatest of core skills.
Today I am focusing on getting some new batteries for our fart book.
Perhaps you've read it? It's called Farts: A Spotter's Guide by Crai S. Bower.
We keep it at the cottage so our valued guests can snuggle up in bed and read a good book.
The only problem is, the damn thing needs batteries. Sure, I had trouble understanding Moby Dick, but I didn't have to replace the batteries just as the exciting whale part was coming up.
AA? AAA? No, not those batteries. This book takes the flat circular batteries, like the ones you find in a Rolex.
Could it be? Does the fart book contain the same delicate machinery that graces the wrists of Federer and Clooney?
Here's where the core skills part comes in. Should I get the batteries at Costco? Will they live up to the standards of my fart book's technology? Or should I go to the Rolex store? Spend a bit more but I get to "read" the book for a much longer time.
Me: Hi, I need three LR44 batteries, please.
Rolex Man: Of course, sir. For your Rolex.
Me: Actually, no. It's for my fart book. Do you get this kind of request often?
Rolex Man: All the time, sir. Why, you're the tenth customer today looking for fart book batteries. May I ask which book?
Me: It's called Farts: A Spotter's Guide.
Rolex Man: Ah, that one. Pretty good book, kinda fizzled out at the end.
fart sound
Rolex Man: I thought you said the batteries were dead.
Me: That was me. Sounded like #7 in the book.
Rolex Man: Did you contribute to the book?
Me: No. I am a writer but they didn't think my stuff was up to par.
Rolex Man: Amazing thing. This fart book contains more computing power than the first Apple computer ever built.
Me: Apples make me fart.
I purchased the batteries. All by myself. No help from anyone, Sheryl. It's a core skill of mine.
Pawl
