Monday, 2 May 2016

Read the Fine Print


Everyone says, "Paul, didn't you read the fine print? You should always read the fine print."

Marriage not all it's cracked up to be? That gym membership not really working? You didn't read the fine print.

Fine print is a crucial part of our world. I don't know how well you know your Bible, but at the very end, in tiny print, is written:

*based on shit that never happened

Easy to miss. Many have. Wars ensued.

So, in light of all this important fine print that we are all missing, I have created a new book.

The Fine Print Anthology

Finally, you have one source for all the fine truth. This comprehensive collection contains all the fine print you need to know about everything, from microwave ovens to using biological weapons and why you should never date someone who topples gravestones in their spare time.

You would expect a book of this magnitude to be massive – the size of a Vegas city block, perhaps?

No. It measures a convenient 1 cm by 3 cm. Think of how easy that will be to whip out and read.

Just send me one hundred-some-odd dollars and I will ship the book to you ASAP*.

*Ha. No I won't

The Fine Print Anthology

Read it and weep.