Sunday 20 September 2015

A Less Than Interstellar Performance

I watched the movie Interstellar last night. It's about a band of astronauts poking through a wormhole seeking a new planet to colonize.

I'm a big fan of Sci-fi, mostly because I wish aliens would take me to another planet where I can be more of a success than I am here – I'm thinking a planet of very slowly developing arthropods that I can rule over with my above average I.Q.

I like some of Matthew McConaughey's past performances. Hell, I'm often mistaken for him by women on the street, especially when the wind from a subway tunnel grate blows my shirt off. Still, it seems like more and more of his acting is preceded by a pitcher of Tom Collins laced with Nyquil.

One of the themes of this movie bothered me. It suggested that the one feature of human behaviour that would save the species is the emotion love.

I completely disagree. The biggest problem humans have is emotions. They are everywhere all the time and it really pisses me off. Emotionally speaking.

Think of the last time you had an argument with someone. It was 95% emotion, wasn't it? I'm convinced the more humans argue over things, the more we keep arguing just to "feel" like we won the argument.

I don't think we're getting anywhere with emotions around. They cloud and obfuscate.

Take my dating life. Nothing but emotion. And a complete failure.

On one of my first dates ever, a very cute girl said to me, "Paul, there's something I need to get off my chest."

Silly me. I thought it was her bra. Finally, I get to play titty-winks.

She said I need to stop pretending she's my girlfriend.

"What? I don't believe you. I'd like to speak to your chest directly, please. I want to hear what it has to say about all this."

My right cheek is still slightly swollen to this day.

God, give me a wormhole to crawl through.