Lately I've been wondering why dog medications come in bottles with safety lids. Is the rate of dog suicide by overdose exploding?
They can't be meant for me. I don't eat poop, diapers and underwear and then have diarrhea for a week.
Vet: He's gone. An overdose. Looks like suicide.
Me: Suicide? How do you know?
Vet: He left a note
Dog: Dear family. By now you've learned the tragic news. Sorry, but you forced my paw. Leaving the toilet lid closed? I thought by following you into the bathroom 24/7 I was making it clear I want a drink. Instead, you flush the toilet and close the lid. You try going a night without a good slurp of waste water. And your shoes. I was sure that with so many of them, some had to be for me to chew. I did the math. Most of them you never wore. Those are the ones I chewed, and you still got mad.
Anyway, you did the best you could, I guess. I'm in dog heaven and it's nothing but open toilets. I hope you learn from this hard lesson and treat your next dog a lot better.
