Helloooo Newman: Ghost Whisperers

Helloooo Newman: Ghost Whisperers: I'm tired of people ghosting me. And today, of all days.

Ghost Whisperers

I'm tired of people ghosting me. And today, of all days.

Helloooo Newman: Movie Madness

Helloooo Newman: Movie Madness: When are we getting paid, honey? James Cameron has been working on Avatar 2 for about 1500 years now. And it's almost done. He recently ...

Movie Madness

When are we getting paid, honey?

James Cameron has been working on Avatar 2 for about 1500 years now. And it's almost done. He recently bragged at how this is the most complicated thing he's ever done.

It's called Avatar: The Way of Water. And with global warming and the rising oceans, it will have way more water than anticipated. When you see it in the theatre, you will be knee deep in swampy, salty water. It will be that real.

It's so real and complicated, even God is jealous.

Quoting God: Gee, if I knew a project could be so amazingly real, I would have spent longer than 6 days on the universe. I definitely would have spent more money on stuff so, like, perfectly good stars don't just blow up. I sure didn't expect that 98% of all species would die off before the wonderfully amazing homo sapien showed up. I see and know everything, and yet hindsight is still 20/20. Hats off to Cameron.

Helloooo Newman: Health Nut

Helloooo Newman: Health Nut: Convincing my daughter to eat a banana, orange or apple is, how would you say? Fruitile

Health Nut

Convincing my daughter to eat a banana, orange or apple is, how would you say?

Fruitile

Helloooo Newman: My CIty

Helloooo Newman: My CIty: I guess I'll start calling my city Toryonto. Or Toryontoe Maybe Toryanna

My CIty

I guess I'll start calling my city Toryonto.

Or Toryontoe

Maybe Toryanna

Helloooo Newman: More Than a £ of Flesh

Helloooo Newman: More Than a £ of Flesh: Hey kids, did you know that Liz Truss, British PM for 44 days, gets a yearly £150,000 pension. And if you dress up as a British PM for Hallo...

More Than a £ of Flesh

Hey kids, did you know that Liz Truss, British PM for 44 days, gets a yearly £150,000 pension. And if you dress up as a British PM for Halloween, you receive a yearly £50,000 pension and a lifetime supply of urine crime scene candy tubes.

Helloooo Newman: Coco Confused

Helloooo Newman: Coco Confused: This is Coco. A very smart girl. Or so I thought. Yes, she knows a lot of commands and has a good grasp of manners around humans. However, y...

Coco Confused

This is Coco. A very smart girl. Or so I thought.

Yes, she knows a lot of commands and has a good grasp of manners around humans.

However, yesterday I asked her a pretty clear question to test her abilities.

I asked: Do you think the universe is really an Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen condensate where space is a 10-dimensional manifold in De Sitter space and time is an expression of the low entropy Big Bang?

Look how confused she is.

Silly girl.

Mensa my ass.

Helloooo Newman: Underwear

Helloooo Newman: Underwear: Damn, need some new underwear. Might have to change it less often. Thank God Christmas is on the way. Speaking of underwear, Britain is chan...

Underwear

Damn, need some new underwear. Might have to change it less often. Thank God Christmas is on the way.

Speaking of underwear, Britain is changing their PM again.

Helloooo Newman: Medical Emergency

Helloooo Newman: Medical Emergency: I got in an argument with my doctor. I told her I have to pee three or four times every night. Out of bed, pee, back to bed. She thinks it m...

Medical Emergency

I got in an argument with my doctor.

I told her I have to pee three or four times every night. Out of bed, pee, back to bed.

She thinks it might be my prostate.

I said no way. I think it's the 3-4 beers I drink before going to sleep.

She doesn't believe me.

What a jerk.

Helloooo Newman: Good Ol' Days

Helloooo Newman: Good Ol' Days: Remember the days when hookers offered curb side pickup?

Good Ol' Days

Remember the days when hookers offered curb side pickup?

Helloooo Newman: Lisztening

Helloooo Newman: Lisztening: Have you ever enjoyed Franz Liszt's music? It's great, but you really have to liszten carefully.

Lisztening

Have you ever enjoyed Franz Liszt's music? It's great, but you really have to liszten carefully.