This Summer Air Canada will temporarily be called Air Cancel.
All passengers will be issued parachutes just in case their flight is cancelled midair.
Tiny bags of 3 almonds are $150. Feel free to eat them while parachuting. If your parachute fails, worry not. You will be provided with a map of all the trampolines in the area that you can safely land on. If you manage a particularly high bounce, you could possibly join another plane that was cancelled, un-cancelled, cancelled, and then un-cancelled just as you reach the apex of your bounce.
Feel free to use the 3 almonds to represent the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost so you can pray your flight isn't suddenly cancelled and your bags don't end up in the closet of an illegal abortion clinic in Sugar Tit, South Carolina.
It is recommended that you wear all your clothes on your body at the same time just in case you never see your suitcase again.
Checking your empty suitcase will cost $300.
The movie on every flight will be Cast Away. Unless it's cancelled.
Enjoy your flight/cancelled flight. We are proud of our cancel culture.
