I received a letter from my car insurance company in the mail today. It's a letter, printed on paper, thanking me for choosing the NO-PAPER option in all our correspondence.
Just in case I mistook this piece of paper for an actual piece of paper, which it is, they printed the words NO PAPER in huge type in the top right corner.
I'm really trying hard to pretend this piece of paper isn't actually a piece of paper. Maybe the words THIS IS NOT PAPER YOU'RE HOLDING, DUMMY would have sold it better.
Right now I'm just not really convinced. I did some acting when I was younger, but no matter what I do, like gain 50 pounds or live in a pulp and paper mill for 6 months, I can't prepare myself for this role of acting like I'm not holding a piece of paper that I am, in fact, holding.
I wonder if De Niro would be able to handle a difficult role like this. How would he approach it? One could consult a mime expert, but then it's not like you're pretending to hold a piece of paper. You are actually holding a piece of paper, and pretending not to, or not to notice you are. It's reverse mime. Are there any reverse mime experts out there?
BTW, if you signed up for the NO-PAPER version of this blog, you will receive your paper copy in the mail within 6 weeks.
Thank you.
