cognidiot

It's certainly not for certain, but it seems more and more Americans would rather live than vote Republican. Scientists are studying this strange phenomenon.

At the same time he's calling for less covid testing, Donald Trump wants to ramp up cognitive testing. "We're the best cognitive testers in the world. There's nothing else like it anywhere." When asked how he did on his cognitive test, he answered, "I tested negative", presumably confusing it with a covid test. Trump suggests the cognitive test should demand the individual say "yo, stop or I'll shoot" backwards, forwards and holding an AR-15.

President Trump fully supports contact tracing. "Last week I traced a picture of an aircraft carrier. Very detailed. All those little planes and radars. Took 5 days. You could attack a country with this tracing. More people should do it."

The FBI has discovered that Mitch McConnell is hoarding potential covid vaccine in his neck. Mr. McConnell also has the distinction of being declared the whitest person in history.