Newman refuses to read the stats. There has never been a dog who has died a vacuum-related death.
None.
Vacuuming is safer than flying, for dogs. More dogs slip and hurt themselves while being given a bath by their owner than from vacuuming.
You cannot get a perforated colon from vacuuming. But you can from eating chicken bones, which Newman does every time I take him to KFC.
And yet, when time I turn on the vacuum, he runs in terror. As if, finally, I've decided to carry out my plans of canine murder.
It's simple ignorance on his part. I wish he would read up on it.
Ignorance will get him in the end, not vacuuming.
HELLOOOO NEWMAN: Laughter is your sixth sense
