I never wish kids "Happy New Year".
Anyone under 19, forget it. They haven't earned such a high-status greeting from me. Besides, they have no idea what it means to "live" (to "live" in quotes is harder), to suffer a terrible year and crave a new beginning, psychologically speaking.
Hey Trev, heard your hockey team came in second. That's a tragedy. Mom's ditching the Escalade and the equipment because you suck in goal. Gee, I hope next year treats you better.
I figure kids are too stupid or stoned or horny or strung out at the mall to understand the significance of resolutions, self-improvement and the luck of being alive. Life is a gift, not a series of gift cards you spend at H&M.
I substitute "Happy New Year" with, "Aren't you back in school yet? You know, I've watched wars go by, friends die of terrible diseases, suicides, been out of work, almost died of pneumonia myself, and here you are looking like the new pattern on my sofa. That kinda sucks, you know."
I finish off with, "Say hi to your parents for me."
