Thursday 22 September 2016

The Dull Existence of an Interest Rate

Contrary to what you probably believe, there is nothing at all interesting about my life as an interest rate.

It's hard when I'm minding my own business at the money laundering mat and people ask me, "Hey Rate, what's new?"

Nothing at all. Still the same. Unchanged. Year after year.

And yet, for such a boring life, people take an obsessive interest in me.

Hey, did you hear about the rate? What is it? Where's it headed?

Makes me irate.

If I gain a little weight, say half a point, a million people lose their house. Name me one Hollywood big shot under that kind of pressure. Please, give me Keira Knightly's life. No wonder I'm anorexic, anemic and depressed.

I come from money but I have no power, no influence.

I long for the 80s when I was a healthy 24% and a high roller. I'm counting on Mr. Trump to take us back to those days.

Until then, I wait, imprisoned by Mr. Fed.

Oh, forget it. You're not really interested.