I ate some probiotics while I was on antibiotics.
They've both lined up in protest: probiotics on the right, antibiotics on the left.
I'm stuck in the middle, with no time to form an opinion on biotics. What are they again?
All was peaceful until my infection, unsurprisingly, sided with the pros.
The antibiotics turned violent.
So far the probiotic death toll is 2 trillion and rising.
I'm out of Dannon Activia.
My body's first responders are swamped.
I had no choice but to side with the pros.
The medicine bottle read "don't take with alcohol" so I threatened the antibiotics with a six-pack of beer.
(shhhh…little did they know it was beer time anyway).
They marched to my colon and now I have diarrhea.
Soon I was so drunk I forgot which side I'm on.
The standoff continues, but both sides are calling for discussions in the large intestine.
Is this a metaphor for the deep divisions in my psyche?
My tummy hurts.
Please, we all just need to understand each other.
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