Thursday 17 October 2013

A Surfeit of Choice

It's nice to have choices in life. For most of human history, humans have had a choice between a life that resembles death, and death itself.

Some choices I don't understand. For instance, when you are watching a youtube video, a resource where I get most of my knowledge and experience from these days, you have a choice of watching the commercial before the exciting video, or skipping it.

Really? Is that a choice people wrestle with? Hmmm, well, I am looking for a date, so maybe that eharmony ad will finally get me going. If that doesn't work, I can always visit the fun site Cougars who look like John Mellencamp.

I really don't understand the strategy. Who is the target group of people that want to delay gratification with a commercial telling you Tim Horton's coffee is always served within 20 minutes? I could serve a pot of mud in 20 minutes, but it would still be mud. I suppose fresh mud would be more refreshing than dry, stale mud.

When men turn fifty, they are suppose to get rectal exams, or send their poop in the mail for a rectum test. But if the need for this rectum rendezvous suddenly disappeared - maybe some miracle preventive cream is found, or some hose device that betters your bowels - would I keep going for the exam? I guess some people would, now that I think about it. The same people who would visit the website mentioned above.

Would hospitals send letters giving you a choice of staying home and enjoying a nice steak dinner with your family or coming in to have fingers surfing in your butt? If yes, please check the box and also let us know which two fingers you prefer.

Some youtube video commercials make you watch 5 seconds before you can "choose" to skip it. That's great, because it could be a really important message that will improve my life immensely. I have found that I need about 5 seconds to make that determination. A bit of a tease, though. In the same vein, hospitals would tease you to come for a rectal rendezvous by promising that a pretty nurse with sexy, slender fingers (maybe dressed in sexy black fish net finger stockings and fingertip heels) will find your "P" spot.

I really hope we don't loose this important choice in life.