Helloooo Newman: Master Rebater

Helloooo Newman: Master Rebater: Why hasn't Trudeau sent me another grocery rebate? I need to buy more food (beer). The price of food  (beer)  just keeps going up and up...

Master Rebater

Why hasn't Trudeau sent me another grocery rebate?

I need to buy more food (beer).

The price of food (beer) just keeps going up and up.

A guy's gotta eat (beer).

Helloooo Newman: Advil

Helloooo Newman: Advil: From the makers of Advil comes Subtractvil. If you just don't feel like sex tonight and you need a believable excuse, Subtractvil gives ...

Advil

From the makers of Advil comes Subtractvil.

If you just don't feel like sex tonight and you need a believable excuse, Subtractvil gives you that headache you so desperately need.

Great for all occasions. Take a day off work. Skip that golf game you suck at anyway. Uncertain about your upcoming wedding?

Skip it! And everyone will believe you. Because it's a real headache.

With Subtractvil.

Subtract the annoying things out of life.

Helloooo Newman: In-between the lines

Helloooo Newman: In-between the lines: I read somewhere that all the best writers challenge you to read in-between the lines. So I wrote a blog with just the important stuff in-be...

In-between the lines

I read somewhere that all the best writers challenge you to read in-between the lines.

So I wrote a blog with just the important stuff in-between the lines.

Let me know what you think.

Enjoy…

Helloooo Newman: Chicken counting

Helloooo Newman: Chicken counting: I heard someone say that you shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch. Really? How about if you own a Swiss Chalet franchise. It&...

Chicken counting

I heard someone say that you shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch.

Really?

How about if you own a Swiss Chalet franchise.

It's Christmas time. Festive specials are flying out the door.

Hey Frank, how many chickens do we have left? Are we running out?

Dunno. You told me not to count them.

Boom. You're out of business.

Helloooo Newman: ASSCII

Helloooo Newman: ASSCII: I swear, sometimes I feel like I get texts messages in my ass. Let me tell you, checking them is not enjoyable.

ASSCII

I swear, sometimes I feel like I get text messages in my ass.

Let me tell you, checking them is not enjoyable.

Helloooo Newman: Biden his time

Helloooo Newman: Biden his time: I'll be honest, I hope Biden wins. I'll be honest, Biden reminds me of my grandfather while dropping Bengay and Metamucil in a sauna...

Biden his time

I'll be honest, I hope Biden wins.

I'll be honest, Biden reminds me of my grandfather while dropping Bengay and Metamucil in a sauna.

Bengay and Metamucil are proud sponsors of this blog.

Helloooo Newman: Tell it like it is

Helloooo Newman: Tell it like it is: If someone files your toenails, shouldn't that be called a pedifile?

Tell it like it is

If someone files your toenails, shouldn't that be called a pedifile?