Thursday 22 February 2024

Law & Order me a timbit: Toronto

The Law & Order franchise is finally coming to Toronto.

Congratulations, Toronto. You're finally on par with the average American city for gun crime and random subway stabbings. Think of all the actors this will employ.

Hear that noise? That's the Canadian content police partying away. They're the ones who insisted that Law & Order: Toronto be filmed in Toronto. Rules, rules, rules.

In the first episode, a mass casualty event. 

24 people die waiting in traffic on the QEW. 

There's a football game, a baseball game, a Raptors game, a Leaf game, a Bruce Cockburn concert, a bike race in all the bike lanes and a gaggle of Metrolinx employees building an LRT under Lake Ontario because they got lost.

The police, busy counting the extra money they just got from Toronto, take extra time to respond. 

The lawyers, busy prosecuting comedians for telling inappropriate jokes, don't even hear the Dum Dum at the beginning of the show.

Future episodes: 

ArriveCan: Dead on arrival

Metrolinx: The 11 year crime

I predict 200 seasons.