Thursday 15 June 2023

Heated debate

Scientists have discovered that the oceans are warming up faster than climate models say they should be.

But why?

That's where things get interesting.

As the debate over the cause heats up, scientists can't decide if it's actually a heated debate over global warming, a warming debate over global heating, or just a cry for attention and funding.

Scientist Ice-B (B for Berg, not related to Ice-T, but is a part-time rapper) thinks people should just cool it on the speculation. Sipping Grey Goose over B-shaped ice cubes, Ice said that, although scientists passionately disagree, cooler heads will prevail. "We shouldn't freeze anyone out who has a different opinion."

Climatologist Luke Warm loves to argue the issue, but then lets off steam acting out practical jokes at the UN Climate Conference in Dubai. His latest plan is secretly turning on everyone's heated car seats so they think this global warming thing is really getting out of hand. This bizarre behaviour is probably caused by the fact that he never knew his real father.

Will the debate boil over over the boiling oceans?