Helloooo Newman: September 2020

Wednesday, 30 September 2020

Helloooo Newman: Halloween

Helloooo Newman: Halloween: The World Halloween committee, part of the UN, has cancelled Halloween this year. In order for children to get their fair share of spooky mo...

The World Halloween committee, part of the UN, has cancelled Halloween this year. In order for children to get their fair share of grotesque monsters, superheroes, nightmarish atmosphere and candy, they suggest kids watch the US Presidential debates while eating a chocolate bar.

Helloooo Newman: Fishing

Helloooo Newman: Fishing: Have you ever watched a fishing show on tv, you were overcome with excitement and thought, shit, I gotta try that? Me neither.

Fishing

Have you ever watched a fishing show on tv, you were overcome with excitement and thought, shit, I gotta try that?

Me neither.

Monday, 21 September 2020

Helloooo Newman: No-Belle

Helloooo Newman: No-Belle: This is Belle, one of our newer dogs. As you can see, she's even lazier than me. "Is that a gutter? Better lie down in it." ...

No-Belle

This is Belle, one of our newer dogs. As you can see, she's even lazier than me. "Is that a gutter? Better lie down in it." She might have even smoked those cigarettes in the bottom corner when I wasn't looking.

On her bucket list is chasing machines many thousands of pounds heavier than her, like buses, cement trucks and her favourite, bobcats. Not the animal, thank God.

I have to say no to Belle an awful lot. So much so, I think she deserves the No-Belle prize.

She's very sweet, so maybe even the No-Belle Peace prize.