Helloooo Newman: It's the saddest of all keys

Helloooo Newman: It's the saddest of all keys: Elton John is in the new Spinal Tap movie. As big a cultural icon as you can imagine. Katy Perry is dating Justin Trudeau. Someone's car...

It's the saddest of all keys

Elton John is in the new Spinal Tap movie. As big a cultural icon as you can imagine.

Katy Perry is dating Justin Trudeau.

Someone's career is still at 11.

Helloooo Newman: Circumcision

Helloooo Newman: Circumcision: I never knew that circumcision is short for circumference decision. Makes sense. Except you don't really get to decide.

Circumcision

I never knew that circumcision is short for circumference decision.

Makes sense. Except you don't really get to decide.

Helloooo Newman: The stuffie of my dreams

Helloooo Newman: The stuffie of my dreams: I don't get it. If fully grown adults can still have stuffies that they adore and not suffer any embarrassment, why can't I have a b...

The stuffie of my dreams

I don't get it.

If fully grown adults can still have stuffies that they adore and not suffer any embarrassment, why can't I have a blow-up doll of Charlize Theron?

Helloooo Newman: Best thing since sliced bread

Helloooo Newman: Best thing since sliced bread: Went to a new bakery today. The bread was incredibly delicious. Moist inside. Crispy outside. Best ever. I asked the baker what her secret w...

Best thing since sliced bread

Went to a new bakery today.

The bread was incredibly delicious. Moist inside. Crispy outside. Best ever.

I asked the baker what her secret was.

"On a scale of 1-10, this bread goes to leaven!"

Helloooo Newman: Texas hold 'em in contempt

Helloooo Newman: Texas hold 'em in contempt: I guess when you're convinced Jesus is your saviour, you do send your 5-year-old kid to camp on a known flood plain.

Texas hold 'em in contempt

I guess when you're convinced Jesus is your saviour, you do send your 5-year-old kid to camp on a known flood plain.

Helloooo Newman: Food for the road

Helloooo Newman: Food for the road: I had lunch at this new truck stop on the way up to the cottage.  Weird. The food wasn't that great, even though the chef said he had fo...

Food for the road

I had lunch at this new truck stop on the way up to the cottage. 

Weird. The food wasn't that great, even though the chef said he had four Michelin tires.

Helloooo Newman: I am Canadian

Helloooo Newman: I am Canadian: I get my dose of truth from the CBC and my donuts from Tim Hortons. I am Canadian.

I am Canadian

I get my dose of truth from the CBC and my donuts from Tim Hortons.

I am Canadian.

Helloooo Newman: When you gotta go

Helloooo Newman: When you gotta go: Last night Donald Trump was found wandering around the Situation Room while groaning and holding his tummy. Apparently he thought it was cal...

When you gotta go

Last night Donald Trump was found wandering around the Situation Room while groaning and holding his tummy. Apparently he thought it was called the Shituation room.