Thursday 30 August 2018

Apples and Oranges

Why the hell can't I compare apples to oranges?

Remember that Sesame Street game? Which one of these things doesn't belong to the other? You have to compare shit to play that game, correct? Once kids learn that, we tell them to stop comparing apples to oranges. "Stop that, Billy. Put the apple down and eat your orange." No wonder millennials are mixed up. Far more so than my generation.

It's not a huge leap, people. Apples and oranges belong to a group called "fruit". So why can't we compare items in the category called fruit? Last week my wife compared me to a koala bear. Lazy and always high on eucalyptus. Not true. I occasionally suck on a eucalyptus lozenge when I have a sore throat. That can't be enough to make me lazy. I blame my laziness on the fact that I don't want to do anything. And on my parents.

What you should never do is compare Apples to PCs. PCs suck shit. Throw them out. They are rotten.

Otherwise, compare away.