Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Human Rearing



I think the term child-rearing is insufficient in describing the raising of an entire human being.

For example, the headaches and nightmares of raising a toddler pale in comparison to dealing with a teenager.

Teens are so clinically insane that they deserve their own term: teen-rearing.

This makes great sense to me. Especially the "rearing" part. Rearing actually applies to all stages of life: you have to wipe a toddler's rear, you have to kick a teen's rear, and then back to the wipe for an elder's rear.

In regards to raising a teen, society has the rearing part all wrong.

I am a champion of cryogenic-rearing. This is based on the scientific evidence that a teen's brain goes loopy until age 25.

All teenagers, on the day after their 13th birthday, should report to a cryogenic freezing chamber, where they will be frozen until age 25, at which time they can be thawed and released into the world.

I might slip a few beers in there too so they stay cold.