Friday 21 November 2014

Traffic sign of the times

As I was driving along Eglinton Avenue in me car, I saw a strange road sign.

The sign read: Left Lane Exists. Really and truthfully, that is how it read.

I was immediately curious. Having too much curiosity about a road sign, by the way, can be bad for your health. As I studied the sign to make sure of what I was reading, a bus almost rearranged my front hood, along with my face.

Left Lane Exists, you say?

I seem to remember in 1966 Time magazine questioned the existence of the left lane on the cover.

Is the left lane dead? asked the headline.

Oh, wait a minute. That was about God. Is God Dead? Time asked. Sorry, got confused.

The great philosopher Frederich Nietzsche said the left lane was dead. He didn't mean a literal left lane, but a metaphorical left lane, which makes it hard to pass slow cars.

What? Oh, ya. Fred was talking about God too.

Still, I'm not convinced the left lane exists. I didn't actually see it, although some signs were there.

Every once in a while I had the feeling a left lane must exist because I wanted to pass the old lady in front of me. I was sure this deep feeling to pass must signify the presence of a left lane.

I got into an argument with a guy claiming to be a Buddhist. He said there were many left lanes that existed. I questioned whether we have that much asphalt.

A bunch of guys in robes pulled me over and tried to convince me that the left lane did exist and could I give them money. I guess to repave the left lane? To build more?

A Hindu guy I ran into said there were many, many left lanes, and I should be careful not to speed in my carma because it will come back to me.

I guess I haven't decided yet if I believe that a left lane exists or not. There should be a word for people who are sitting in the middle of the road, not sure if there really is a left lane out there.