If the Porsche Fits…

Nuggets. That's what I call them.

Little things occurring in this nutty world that keep me laughing.

I found this nugget at my mechanic's shop. Yes, I have a mechanic.

Rather, he has me. In debt. For a lot of money.

I was waiting patiently in my grease shop for about 3.5 hours when I thought, okay, it's time for me to rotate the hemispheres of my brain before I hurl myself in front of a street car in boredom.

This well-dressed man walks in carrying a pair of very nice shoes in his hands. Swaddling them, actually. Like a new-born.

Do these shoes require an oil change? Will he have the soles rotated?

Don't laugh. The well-dressed man proudly states that these $450 shoes are made by Porsche.

More questions pop into my rotated hemispheres. Is this why he came to an auto body shop instead of a shoemaker? How fast do they go?

Turns out there is some kind of screw or nail sticking out of the bottom of one car, um shoe, and it is affecting his back. He said at least 36 times that the shoe was hurting his back. Soon enough I wanted to hurt his back as well.

He thought maybe the mechanic had the right kind of screw or some other car-fixing device to help his shoe run more smoothly.

The mechanic took it into the shop and tried. I wonder if he had to put it on one of those car lifters so they could get a good look underneath?

The mechanic said no go and suggested the gentleman take it to a shoemaker.

This is why I chose my mechanic. He has all the honest answers. He will not take your shoes into the shop, find all kinds of things wrong with them, and then charge you glorious amounts of money to walk out.

As the man with the $450 Porsche shoes drove away, the mechanic told me that the actual car this customer was driving was 20 years old and worth about $500.