Thursday 24 April 2014

Newman's Nuances



What does it all mean?

What am I doing here? Not just in the larger philosophical sense. What am I doing here in this spot when I could be rooting around in the garbage for rib bones?

All this reflecting on life…I get it from my owner. He doesn't realize that if you reflect too much you eventually fall in love with your reflection.

Then you have to destroy the thing you love to really understand it. I don't really understand that statement. It was scrawled on the wall of the kennel I was born in.

What will I do with my life? I was thinking of something that could really advance the human condition, since humans take care of me. Perhaps a major in gender studies, with a thesis on transgenders in the workplace.

I can totally relate to those transgenders, having your privates messed with and all.

Maybe that won't be enough. So many big problems ahead. Global warming. When will humans get their shit together? I have my shit together – in the backyard – in neat little piles.

It's a big thing if my shit doesn't freeze anymore. So much easier to eat that way. Have you tried feces for dinner during a heat wave? Not pretty.

I feel pulled in so many directions. Sitting pretty here with the wind all in my face. I should be waxing poetic. But what I really long for is to lick my groin right NOW.

Do you think Aristotle ever licked his groin?

God, I hope prime rib is on the menu again for guys weekend at the cottage.