Sunday 22 September 2013

Hangman's List

I made a short list of some of the most diabolical crimes an adult can commit in the 21st. century.

1. Allow your child to ride a bike without a helmet, even if:
• the bike has 12 sets of training wheels and the child is 3 inches from the ground
• they are not moving
• the bike has no wheels
• they are riding on 3 square miles of a marshmallow-like substance that is firm enough to hold the bike but soft enough that if they fall, they end up harmlessly in one of their favourite treats.

2. Raising children while you ride a bike yourself without a helmet, even under all the conditions of #1.

3. Take a child for a ride in a car without a child safety seat that has been inspected by NASA and tested on the space station.

4. Having a sick child and NOT visiting every medical website, contacting tele-health, assuming it's the brain eating amoeba, rushing to emergency and acting as if your child is the first that has ever had a fever and sniffles.

5. Allowing a child to engage in non-activity that doesn't prepare them for super human abilities later on.

6. Allowing your child to learn piano while you are in another room.