Helloooo Newman: Painless chicken

Helloooo Newman: Painless chicken: I feel sorry for chicken raised without antibiotics. How would you feel if you had pneumonia and the doctor denied you the proper medication...

Painless chicken

I feel sorry for chicken raised without antibiotics.

How would you feel if you had pneumonia and the doctor denied you the proper medication because you'll be eaten by someone in the future?

That would suck. You'll be eaten and you have to cough your lungs out as a kid.

How about a cough drop? The chicken would plead. Maybe some NyQuil?

I only eat chicken raised on fentanyl. It's all painless for them.

Helloooo Newman: Tax holiday

Helloooo Newman: Tax holiday: Trudeau, in responding to Trump's desire to buy Canada on Amazon, said if the US buys Canada during the tax holiday, he won't charge...

Tax holiday

Trudeau, in responding to Trump's desire to buy Canada on Amazon, said if the US buys Canada during the tax holiday, he won't charge HST on the country.

I'd snap that up!

Helloooo Newman: Winded chill

Helloooo Newman: Winded chill: We've all felt the wind chill. It's -7, feels like -30. Today, I felt the winded chill. Can you feel the winded chill? I'm 62, f...

Winded chill

We've all felt the wind chill. It's -7, feels like -30.

Today, I felt the winded chill.

Can you feel the winded chill?

I'm 62, feels like 98!

Walk up 4 stairs. Congrats, I just completed an Ironman triathlon. Looking forward to doing more stairs in a year.

Look for the winded chill report on your next newscast.

Helloooo Newman: Ethical cheating

Helloooo Newman: Ethical cheating: I'm so proud of my daughter. Third year university. Things get really difficult! But she swung at 94% on her Ethics exam. Wow! She cheat...

Ethical cheating

I'm so proud of my daughter.

Third year university. Things get really difficult!

But she swung at 94% on her Ethics exam. Wow!

She cheated, so I thought the mark would be higher.

Still, something to brag about.

Helloooo Newman: Take the long way home

Helloooo Newman: Take the long way home: I was a little disturbed when I looked out the window of the subway and saw a big rat moving faster down the tunnel than me.  Maybe he can h...

Take the long way home

I was a little disturbed when I looked out the window of the subway and saw a big rat moving faster down the tunnel than me. 

Maybe he can help with the repairs. 

Hey rat, come join the rat race.

Helloooo Newman: Can the trains run on time?

Helloooo Newman: Can the trains run on time?: I'm no fan of Mussolini. But he did make the trains run on time. How about it, TTC? Do we need our own Mussolini to kick you in the thir...

Can the trains run on time?

I'm no fan of Mussolini. But he did make the trains run on time.

How about it, TTC?

Do we need our own Mussolini to kick you in the third rail?

15 years of fixing isn't enough?

The pyramids, 2500 years ago, took 20 years. And look how long they've lasted.

Unless you want to turn the whole system into a museum from an ancient society where things used to work.

Helloooo Newman: Oprah Chopra

Helloooo Newman: Oprah Chopra: Looks like Trump et al might make some radical changes. But still, he'll never get Oprah to marry Deepak Chopra. That's real change...

Oprah Chopra

Looks like Trump et al might make some radical changes.

But still, he'll never get Oprah to marry Deepak Chopra.

That's real change.