Today is John Lennon's birthday.
Except it's not. Because he's dead.
Did you know it's John Lennon's birthday? He would have been 85 years old today.
Except he's dead. As sad as it is, there's no birthday for John. I don't understand wishing dead people happy birthday.
Congratulations, you can do math. Why don't we do that for every egg that every woman has ever carried?
Hey honey, remember that egg we didn't fertilize last January? Happy birthday, egg. It would have been 23 years old today.
Except it's not!