Helloooo Newman: Dougie's diagnosis

Helloooo Newman: Dougie's diagnosis: Doug Ford was recently diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome.  Ecstatic Doug yelled. "A carpool tunnel? Under the 401?" Doctors ex...

Dougie's diagnosis

Doug Ford was recently diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. 

Ecstatic Doug yelled. "A carpool tunnel? Under the 401?"

Doctors explained this will not win him reelection.

Helloooo Newman: New Air Force One

Helloooo Newman: New Air Force One: Given the escalator debacle at the UN, Trump will now travel with his own escalator. It will be called Escalator Force One. It will be made ...

New Air Force One

Given the escalator debacle at the UN, Trump will now travel with his own escalator.

It will be called Escalator Force One.

It will be made in Djibouti.

Helloooo Newman: No second shooter

Helloooo Newman: No second shooter: This just in. After an exhaustive study of all the facts and conspiracy theories, RFK JR has concluded that JFK was not shot but died from d...

No second shooter

This just in.

After an exhaustive study of all the facts and conspiracy theories,
RFK JR has concluded that JFK was not shot but died from drinking too much fluoride.

No, wait a minute.

The study wasn't exhaustive.

He's exhausted. 

All that speaking.

Helloooo Newman: Pouring his heart out

Helloooo Newman: Pouring his heart out: I was going to tell Doug Ford yesterday I am locating all my dog walking services to the U.S. but now I'm afraid of how he'll react....

Pouring his heart out

I was going to tell Doug Ford yesterday I am locating all my dog walking services to the U.S. but now I'm afraid of how he'll react.

Will he dump dog poop on my lawn? Will he feed Crown Royal to all  my dogs?

I definitely know that he knows my business better than I do. And if I need incentive to stay in Canada, him threatening me and calling me stupid will probably work.

Keep up the good work, Doug.

Helloooo Newman: Get a job, Job

Helloooo Newman: Get a job, Job: I wonder if Job from the Bible ever got angry and confused when people told him to get a job. But…I'm…say what, now? BTW, it's Job, ...

Get a job, Job

I wonder if Job from the Bible ever got angry and confused when people told him to get a job.

But…I'm…say what, now?

BTW, it's Job, not Job.