Helloooo Newman: Burn after investing : I'm trying to decide if I should invest in Canada's new sovereign fund or just burn my money...

I'm trying to decide if I should invest in Canada's new sovereign fund or just burn my money to stay warm this cool Spring.

Helloooo Newman: Gently used… : I checked Kijiji for Doug's jet. No sign of it yet. Checking Toys R Us… Oh there it is. Gently used priv...

I checked Kijiji for Doug's jet. No sign of it yet. Checking Toys R Us… Oh there it is. Gently used private jet. Word is Doug wants to r...

Helloooo Newman: Loud and clear : Doug the Slug said he hears Ontarians "loud and clear" on what a no-no buying a private plane is...

Doug the Slug said he hears Ontarians "loud and clear" on what a no-no buying a private plane is for Ontario's finances when t...

Helloooo Newman: Jet : The soon-to-be ex-CEO of Air Canada, while joyfully singing Paul McCartney's Jet , has offered to buy Doug Ford...

The soon-to-be ex-CEO of Air Canada, while joyfully singing Paul McCartney's Jet , has offered to buy Doug Ford's used jet. Hoping t...

Helloooo Newman: Sloganeering : An independent Canadian committee paid for by the Liberals has found that the slogan "elbows up" i...

An independent Canadian committee, paid for by the Liberals, has found that the slogan "elbows up" is a much more meaningful and e...

Helloooo Newman: 10 years until… : Scientists remind us it will be 10 years before the next 10 year warning that we only have 10 years left ...

Scientists remind us it will be 10 years before the next 10 year warning that we only have 10 years left until we are doomed by climate chan...

Helloooo Newman: Carney knowledge : In light of Mark Carney's spectacular majority government and saviour-like status in Canada, politic...

In light of Mark Carney's spectacular majority government and saviour-like status in Canada, politicians across the globe will step down...

Helloooo Newman: Has-been-wanna-be : Pierre Poilievre, upon learning the devastating news about the Liberal majority, called Justin Trudeau ...

Pierre Poilievre, upon learning the devastating news about the Liberal majority, called Justin Trudeau to check if he knows any has-been pop...

Helloooo Newman: Liberala Majora : The entire population of earth is crossing the floor to join the Canadian Liberal party.

The entire population of earth is crossing the floor to join the Canadian Liberal party.

Helloooo Newman: Slam Bondi : Pam Bondi is leaving her job to spend more time redacting her kid's sick notes.

Pam Bondi is leaving her job to spend more time redacting her kid's sick notes.

Helloooo Newman: Ei-Ei-CEO : Mark Carney, in a bid to bring back wealth to Canada, has declared the new CEO of Air Canada must speak advance...

Mark Carney, in a bid to bring back wealth to Canada, has declared the new CEO of Air Canada must speak advanced French. Broken English is a...

Helloooo Newman: I speak fun :   The CEO of Air Canada will step down and take on the task of managing the Toys R Us fleet of airplanes, whe...

  The CEO of Air Canada will step down and take on the task of managing the Toys R Us fleet of airplanes, where the only language spoken is ...

Helloooo Newman: Avi-normal : In a quest for fewer votes, the NDP elects Avi Lewis.

In a quest for fewer votes, the NDP elects Avi Lewis.

Helloooo Newman: Languide languagers : Terrible tragedy when 2 Canadian pilots are instantly killed in America. Thank God the politicians kn...

Terrible tragedy when 2 Canadian pilots are instantly killed in America. Thank God the politicians know how to get to the core of the issue....

Helloooo Newman: Canadians are dough-nuts : You might want to include in your summer plans lots of trips to Tim Hortons. They're present...

You might want to include in your summer plans lots of trips to Tim Hortons. They're presenting their Ryan Reynolds maple/insulin glazed...

Helloooo Newman: Chuck Norris cheats Death : Fearing for his life, Death gives Chuck Norris another chance.

Fearing for his life, Death gives Chuck Norris another chance.

Helloooo Newman: Baby Oscars : Campaigning so desperately for the Best Actor Oscar is not Timothée Chalamet's first shot into the height...

Campaigning so desperately for the Best Actor Oscar is not Timothée Chalamet's first shot into the heights of stardom. When he was 6, he...

Helloooo Newman: Chalamet dismay : Sadly, Timothée Chalamet has added Helloooo Newman to his list of things that aren't worth keeping a...

Sadly, Timothée Chalamet has added Helloooo Newman to his list of things that aren't worth keeping alive anymore, along with ballet and...

Helloooo Newman: A clean victory : The parliamentarian janitor crosses the floor to the Liberals to bring them closer to a majority. He also...

The parliamentarian janitor crosses the floor to the Liberals to bring them closer to a majority. He also cleaned the floor as he crossed, b...

Helloooo Newman: Not just your routine poutine : In case you have trouble swallowing the "Quebec is a distinct society" line… They...

In case you have trouble swallowing the "Quebec is a distinct society" line… They seek a special protective geographical status fo...

Helloooo Newman: Starbucks dream order : I don't even like the skinny tall blonde coffee I order at Starbucks. Tastes like liquid subway...

I don't even like the skinny tall blonde coffee I order at Starbucks. Tastes like liquid subway platform. I just keep hoping one day the...

Helloooo Newman: Chin up : It's easy to get depressed with the world situation right now, isn't it? So much violence and uncertainty...

It's easy to get depressed with the world situation right now, isn't it? So much violence and uncertainty. What keeps me going? Doug...

Helloooo Newman: Ayatollah-you-so : God has just finished a presser, clarifying that just because he decided not to protect the Ayatollah do...

God has just finished a presser, clarifying that just because he decided not to protect the Ayatollah does not mean he supports Trump. Karol...

Helloooo Newman: State of the Trump : Advance copy of Trump's State of the Union Speech

Advance copy of Trump's State of the Union Speech

Helloooo Newman: Comedy is his life :   This is Pierre Poilievre in his early days a a standup comedian. He was killing it with his "ax...

  This is Pierre Poilievre in his early days a a standup comedian. He was killing it with his "axe the tax" routine. Some say he...