Helloooo Newman: I'm in a Newman State of Mind : Production is fast and furious on Newman's new vlog, coming to Youtube very soon. ...

Production is fast and furious on Newman's new vlog, coming to Youtube very soon. There have been some budgeting hurdles, but nothing ...

Helloooo Newman: Forrest trump : Wisdom from Forrest Trump: Mama always said life is like a box car full of Mexicans. You never know whi...

Wisdom from Forrest Trump: Mama always said life is like a box car full of Mexicans. You never know which one you'll squeeze and sen...

Helloooo Newman: In Poor Taste : TRIGGER WARNING: IF YOU THINK THE POPE HAS THE DOPE ON GOOD LIVING, I SUGGEST READING ONE OF THE OTHER 500...

TRIGGER WARNING: IF YOU THINK THE POPE HAS THE DOPE ON GOOD LIVING, I SUGGEST READING ONE OF THE OTHER 500 TRILLION ARTICLES ON THE WEB. ...

Helloooo Newman: Modern Male : Men often come up to me on the street and ask, "Hey Paul, what's your secret?" I'd love t...

Men often come up to me on the street and ask, "Hey Paul, what's your secret?" I'd love to be able to tell them, but the...

Helloooo Newman: Things Ultra-Lazy People Do Differently : When it comes to laziness, we all face the same challenge – why are there so many...

When it comes to laziness, we all face the same challenge – why are there so many hours in a day? Yet some lazy people find themselves wit...

Helloooo Newman: A Less Than Interstellar Performance : I watched the movie Interstellar last night. It's about a band of astronauts po...

I watched the movie Interstellar last night. It's about a band of astronauts poking through a wormhole seeking a new planet to colonize...

Helloooo Newman: Gaining Wait : Wait times are going up and up in this world. It's an international crisis, all this wait people are p...

Wait times are going up and up in this world. It's an international crisis, all this wait people are putting on. Where is the U.N. o...

Helloooo Newman: The Matryoshka Sleep : The Dalai Lama once said, "Sleep is the best meditation." I got this tidbit from the int...

The Dalai Lama once said, "Sleep is the best meditation." I got this tidbit from the internet, so I have no idea if he actually ...

Helloooo Newman: The Woman Who Shouldn't be There : I sincerely hope you've never heard of Kim Davis, which could possibly negate th...

I sincerely hope you've never heard of Kim Davis, which could possibly negate the usefulness of this article. Kim Davis is the Kentuck...

Helloooo Newman: Georgina : English is a confusing language. One thing you should never do is apply logic to the English language. Especia...

English is a confusing language. One thing you should never do is apply logic to the English language. Especially when it comes to pronunc...

Helloooo Newman: Practice Makes Perfect? : I use to be a practicing catholic, as a kid. Now I'm just a practicing human being. The hou...

I use to be a practicing catholic, as a kid. Now I'm just a practicing human being. The hours are much better. I can be a human being ...

Helloooo Newman: DIE Projects : I'm not much of a DIY guy. Do-It-Yourself – sounds like something my mom would scream at me when I was...

I'm not much of a DIY guy. Do-It-Yourself – sounds like something my mom would scream at me when I was pealing from my body the last p...

Helloooo Newman: Youtube Killed the Blog Star : Ladies and gentlemen. We at Helloooo Newman have a very exciting announcement to make. F...

Ladies and gentlemen. We at Helloooo Newman have a very exciting announcement to make. Finally, the media spotlight can be taken off For...

Helloooo Newman: You've been Chopped : There's so much pressure these days for the layperson to not just cook decent food, but to cr...

There's so much pressure these days for the layperson to not just cook decent food, but to create a brilliant, creative, healthy, fresh-...

Helloooo Newman: Me and Mr. Trump : I'm admiring Mr. Trump more and more these days. Sure, he has some rad ideas. Rounding up 20 million...

I'm admiring Mr. Trump more and more these days. Sure, he has some rad ideas. Rounding up 20 million people is no small feat. I once tri...

Helloooo Newman: Hard Core : Women attribute their success to working hard, luck, and help from other people. Men will attribute that – what...

Women attribute their success to working hard, luck, and help from other people. Men will attribute that – whatever success they have, that ...

Helloooo Newman: Upbringing or Bringing Up? : People ask me, Paul, are you depressed to be turning 53 in October? I tell them naw, not at ...

People ask me, Paul, are you depressed to be turning 53 in October? I tell them naw, not at all. That's 50 years longer than I expecte...

Helloooo Newman: Drove Down The Wrong Madison Avenue : Um, ah, well, okay, yes, my name does appear on the hacker-exposed list of Ashley Mad...

Um, ah, well, okay, yes, my name does appear on the hacker-exposed list of Ashley Madison clients. I can explain. I was doing research f...

Helloooo Newman: Trump Dump : Amis Take, roving reporter here. I caught up with Donald Trump on the campaign trail. He was feeding his hai...

Amis Take, roving reporter here. I caught up with Donald Trump on the campaign trail. He was feeding his hair while they gassed up his hel...

Helloooo Newman: Sadtember : And then comes sadness… The summer is almost over. And then comes the month that starts to change everythin...

And then comes sadness… The summer is almost over. And then comes the month that starts to change everything. Sadtember. I always take...

Golf is for Retards | Points in Case

Helloooo Newman: The Barber of Davisville : This barber was no Figaro! I should probably hate getting my haircut more than I do. The expen...

This barber was no Figaro! I should probably hate getting my haircut more than I do. The expense. Time wasted. The stress of wondering whe...

Helloooo Newman: Go tit : It's nice to be known world-wide for my brilliant writing. Too bad it's not in this world. It's actu...

It's nice to be known world-wide for my brilliant writing. Too bad it's not in this world. It's actually an exoplanet 4 light ...

Helloooo Newman: Is That a Gun in your Tote Bag? : I have no idea if any Americans read this blog. If there are any, I have a question for y...

I have no idea if any Americans read this blog. If there are any, I have a question for you. The NRA, and a good deal of the population (n...

Helloooo Newman: e-Questions : A new study just came out, confirming our worst fears. Sitting IS the new smoking. If you smoke a traditio...

A new study just came out, confirming our worst fears. Sitting IS the new smoking. If you smoke a traditional cigarette, you will likely ...

Helloooo Newman: The 150 Percenters : Being a famous and spectacularly successful writer is a huge burden. But this blog is not about Step...